“Nirahari without food” Swamiji said. “What! Without food that is impossible”, Ma thought. Out of curiosity Ma tried the Samyama.
On the first day with Swamiji’s blessings, everything was ok. The first day is always easy, Ma used to fast for 24 hours sometimes on Ekadasi day, so that was OK. Again with Swamiji’s blessing, Ma followed the second day. Ma’s mouth was getting dry, so Ma took a glass of juice which was offered to Swamiji. We also served the participants juice in the morning after the satsang and drank it. The next day, Swamiji asked us to break the fast and that was a happy moment for all of us, because Ma could eat her tit bits now”, she thought. Since Ma was in the ashram, the children who were taking Nirahara Samyama wanted a lot of variety of food. To my amazement, at the start of the day it was very difficult to eat and after that it was ok.
The second trial came and we had 4 days without food. Wow, doing the Samyama in a group was wonderful. We were all discussing how it was after breaking the fast and how it felt to enjoy food. People were all going for their favourite food – how ma loved every morsel of it. Ma used to gobble food when Ma was sad and used to eat tidbits the whole day. During the 4 days, Ma was drinking juice and water whenever she felt dry in the mouth. To Ma’s surprise, after Swamiji’s blessings we started again and it went on like a breeze – no hunger for food, only water occasionally. When the 5th day came, Swamiji said we can break the fast – everybody was happy and wanted varieties of food. They also suggested that they will bring food from home and we can share that. It sounded good and many varieties were set on the table. We were so greedy that we put a lot of variety of food in the plate and started eating. Oh my God, we could not eat and could not even finish half of the plate. All of them and me were trying to offer to each other, “what was happening?” Ma did not eat for 4 days and wanted to replace the food in my body. Ma was taught from young not to throw food once it was in the plate. So Ma started eating very slowly and at last she finished. To my surprise, even the children who used to eat so much could not eat. We all laughed at each other and were joking and made fun of each other. The next time they said, we will have soft diets like porridge.
Swamiji gave another 2 days of break and then started the 11 day process. That first day, Ma was taking more liquids. The second day was less and the body to my surprise did not ask for food. Ma was energetic and alive! “Fantastic”, Ma thought…wow no hunger for food and ma was fine with so much of work in the ashram without even feeling hungry. My idea of eating to create energy in the body broke. So how are we getting energy? Are we getting from the air we breathe or from earth, the sun or from Swamiji – which is which? I still have not got the idea yet. By now, the root pattern has been broken, no routine for food any more. Whenever Ma feels like eating, Ma eats. Ma still has this pattern that we need a variety of food a day to keep our skin and bones healthy and water for our body’s lubrication. Nowadays Ma can realize whenever she has eaten heavy food or too much of food, she feels tired and lazy. Light food makes Ma’s stomach happy and relaxed. She feels good and light for the day. Is this what Swamiji says – one way of being blissful? The problem is, Ma always likes cooking varieties of food and tasting them, and then ends up eating them. Ma eats food again but not like before – when she used to dump a lot of favorite food and gobble them down without realizing that she has eaten a lot, overfilled and uncomfortable. Wow! There Swamiji goes again, reviving the mysteries of food .Thank you my dear Swamiji – Ma loves you for that.
Ms. Kamala Singamuttu (Ma Tara) Volunteer,
Gombak ashram, Malaysia